Friends at Last

I love my siblings, each and every one of them.  Although we had our moments growing up, as all siblings do (and most of those moments probably stemmed from the fact that I was bossy and impatient), I can say without hesitation that there is not one of my siblings that I don't consider a dear friend. My life would be so sad without my siblings. The hardest thing about being in the military is being apart from family.

I don't remember life before Richard. All my earliest memories involve him in some aspect. He is passionate about family time and doing things together. He wants everyone to be included. We served missions at the same time. He was the only one I got to overlap with in school. He's smart and kind and patient. I just love that guy.

Whenever I think of Matthew, I think of him smiling. He is easy-going; I don't know of any person that Matt doesn't get along with. He is supportive of each member of the family. Matt is the embodiment of what a true friend is: loyal, trustworthy, and focused on the best in everyone. No matter what is going on, it's always better and more fun when Matt is there.

I love that Stephen and I can share what it's like to be doctors in the military and all the ups and downs that entails. He's got such a creative streak and I am in awe of how good his poetry and prose are (when he has time to write, that is). He did a phenomenal job on Mike's and my wedding announcement, books, and video. I appreciate how willing he is to share his many talents.

Megan is such a great friend and sister. I can do all the fun girl stuff with her, like look at shoes and talk about hairstyles and get advice on cute clothes. Before I got married, I would call her to commiserate over my dating ups and downs. She's a good listener. She has a great sense of humor and always makes me laugh. She is beautiful inside and out and I couldn't imagine a better sister.

Kevin will always be my bud. He and I used to make the family Halloween meals every year. Kevin embodies enthusiasm. He's enthusiastic about education, the Gospel, sight-seeing, and getting out with the family. He's always willing to serve and do things for other members of the family. Of all my siblings, I think he's the most like my mom--an embodiment of selfless service.

Because of the relationships I have with my siblings, I have been anxious for Sophia and Ryan to start bonding as brother and sister. I know they're young and relationships take time, but it broke my heart to see Sophia not enjoying being around Ryan. When we moved to Fayetteville, we decided to put them in the same room together. It was a gamble, because such a move that can either forge or demolish a sibling relationship.

Well, my heart has been overflowing with gratitude and happiness over the last few weeks, because these photos show what has been occurring more and more frequently in our home:

I have loved seeing these sweet little moments between them. It has become one of my favorite things about being a parent. I hope that friendship will continue to grow and deepen as they get older.

This Army Life, Part 1

We've been at Ft Bragg for about a month now. So far, so good. We've really enjoyed getting to know the people in our ward and moving into our new, clean, spider-free house without holes in the walls. And floors.

I would say that the more challenging thing for me is transitioning from "a doctor in the Army" to "an Army doctor." The doctor/clinic/hospital culture in the military is very different from those assigned to units in the "regular Army" (ie, not medical).

For example, every different Army post has its own "saying." Sometimes, when people salute, they'll shout the phrase at you and then there's an appropriate response you give. I was told it's a big thing in regular Army, but I've never heard a doctor say it. Also, I made it a point to wear civilian clothes to work, then change into my uniform when I got there, the whole phrase-and-salute thing hasn't come up much.  I never did figure it out when I was stationed at Ft Lewis. The two times people said whatever the phrase was (which I could never understand), I was always with someone who knew what to say in return ("courage").  Honestly, it really hasn't been that big of a deal.

Until Ft Bragg.

During my inprocessing week to Ft Bragg, I was hit with a barrage of crisp salutes and "ALL THE WAY, MA'AM!!" Which sent me into an apoplexy of anxiety. What do I say in response? Will they think I'm stupid or rude if I don't say the right thing back? After a few mumbled "good mornings" in response, I spent over an hour attempting to find what the correct return phrase was on Google and came up empty.

The next week, I started inprocessing with my unit. My first day with the 108th, I spoke with my NCOIC (Non-Commissioned Officer in Charge) and asked her what I say in response to "All the Way." I felt much better that she didn't know. We had to ask three people before someone knew the answer: "Airborne!"

On the way home, and armed with the correct return phrase, I felt much more confident.

Until I encountered a group of sergeants on my way to the car who saluted smartly and said, "NO FEAR, MA'AM!!" as one giant chorus.

But I had already primed my go-to response and my brain-to-mouth buffer didn't have time to engage, so even as I returned with "airborne," I inwardly cringed and they gave me a funny look.

I still don't know what to say to "no fear." It's a phrase that's specific to one particular battalion in this brigade. Before I remembered to ask someone how to respond, someone saluted with "DEEDS ABOVE WORDS, MA'AM!!" I didn't return with "airborne," but I felt bad giving a generic "good morning," when there's obviously a "right" way to answer that I just don't know.

This morning, I got "CRY HAVOC, MA'AM!!"

Okay, now, stop. Just stop.

Cry havoc??

What do I do with that?  You can't go changing phrase rules on me every week. Choose one. Apparently, each battery within each battalion within my brigade has their own saying to promote morale and unit cohesiveness. That's about 15 different sayings, and I've only encountered four so far.

So there you go. Lesson #1 in "The Physician's Guide to Transitioning to Real Army:" Unit cohesiveness and fighting strength depend upon the utilization of morale-boosting phrases given with each salute. Your Arminess can be measured by the volume with which you deliver the phrase, along with its frequency of utilization.

DEEDS CRY ALL THE WAY ABOVE HAVOC! TOTAL FEAR!!

6 Months Old

 Since I just did a blog update of Sophia, I thought I'd do a quick one on Ryan, who just turned 6 months old on July 7th. Over the last two weeks, he's learned how to sit up by himself. Look at those cheeks. It just makes me want to pinch them.

 He's so smiley! It doesn't take much to get him to laugh or smile. Unless you try to FaceTime with family--then, he's Mr. Stoic.

He loves to reach for everything within range, but especially food.  I think if we let him, he would eat non stop. We waited until Sophia was 6 months old to introduce solid food. Even then, I didn't feel that she was really interested or even understood the concept until she was almost 8 months old.

Not so with Ryan. He acted like he wanted solids around 4 months old. I held out until he was 5 months old and finally caved. He got it right away. He ate more that first week of solids than Sophia did in her first month of eating solids.

One thing I love about Ryan is how expressive he is. When he's excited about something (like food), his little arms go up and down like a little hummingbird. 

Ryan loves his big sister. Loves, loves, loves her. He watches her, gets excited when she's around (you can tell by the arms), and is always smiling at her. I wish I could say that the feeling was completely mutual. Where Ryan is concerned, Sophia's motto seems to be "We love with our hearts, not with our hands."

Sophia will get him blankets, toys, and his pacifier. She notices when he's crying and is concerned about that. But if you ask her to hug Ryan, she'll develop a sudden, all-encompassing interest in the wall or floor. If you ask her to kiss Ryan, she'll bonk  heads instead.  If you approach Sophia holding Ryan with the intent of having Ryan touch her, she'll cringe and run away. Sophia has been very slow to warm up to Ryan. But Ryan's a pretty friendly and good-natured guy, so I'm sure they'll end up being best friends.

One day.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Sophia

Happy 2nd Birthday,

 Sophia Jumping Bean

Silly Lily

Baby Girl!

 I love you how love Minnie Mouse

stuffed animals

singing songs

stories

stickers

and jumping.

 You're my helper girl

ray of sunshine

bundle of love.

I worry about your shyness

not being there for you during the day

your picky eating.

 The last two years with you have been full of wonder, excitement, and laughter.

Sometimes I wish I could pause time and keep you just as you are,

but I can't wait to see all the marvelous adventures the next year will hold for you.

I love you, my sweet little Sophia!

Mike's MPA

Life has been hugely busy the last two years for Mike. He has been working on his Masters of Public Administration from Villanova University every waking hour that he wasn't watching the kids. I don't think anyone will ever really appreciate how hard he worked and the sacrifices he made to do well in his classes. He made a goal to get at least a 3.8 GPA so that he could qualify for an invitation to Pi Alpha Alpha, a global honor society for individuals in Public Administration.

This week, Mike not only graduated from Villanova, but also accomplished his academic goal, graduating with a 3.89 GPA. This represents literally hundreds of nights of burning the candle at both ends He missed out on or cut short family activities. He had the self-discipline and determination to excel in his studies and also wrote and published articles in the field of Public Administration on the side. I'm beyond proud of him!

Kevin had come in earlier to visit and see DC, then my parents flew in on Thursday just to see Mike graduate. We really appreciate that they would come out and celebrate with us. They were wonderful and babysat so that Mike and I could spend an evening alone on a date. They also watched both kids during the graduation ceremonies. There's no way I would have been able to sit through the events if they hadn't.

Friday was especially chaotic. There was a torrential downpour that day. We spent the morning at Valley Forge, then drove to Villanova over 3 hours before commencement started so that our kids could nap in the car and then we could get something to eat. Ryan and Sophia napped for awhile, but then we woke them up a little prematurely so that we could get something to eat then change our clothes.

We only had one umbrella and we left our two-person stroller at home because of space limitations in our car. We hurried and changed our kids' diapers in the backseat, standing in the pouring rain, then carried them to the building with the cafeteria…only to find out that the cafeteria had barely closed. To top it off, the smell of Eau de Poopy Diaper filled the air and I had no idea which child was the culprit.

At that point, both kids were crying and I felt like joining them. Despite our best efforts, everyone was wet, tired, dirty, and hungry. I trudged off to the bathroom to change Ryan's diaper, in no mood to go back out in the rain and attend a 90-minute ceremony with kids who just needed snuggles and bedtime.  When I got to the bathroom, a flyer on one of the stalls caught my eye. On it was written a quote by Vivian Greene: "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."

It was a simple thing, but it helped me to smile and take the whole situation in stride. 

We enjoyed Commencement. We survived the rain, the fatigue, and the whiney kids. I even laughed when my favorite leather strap shoes broke because they never, ever should have been anywhere near that rainstorm. 

We made it to Saturday, which had beautiful weather; Mike walked across the stage to receive his diploma. 

 Congratulations, Mike! Thanks for your hard work and dedication. I am so proud of you and feel incredibly blessed to be your wife!

My Little Ry Guy

Ryan Michael Clark was born January 7, 2014 just after midnight.  For those who read the blogpost a couple years ago about Sophia's birth, you know that we had some scary moments where her heart rate started going very low. Although it was scary, everything turned out well.

Ryan's birth was even scarier.

Again, before I left for the hospital to see if I was going into labor, I got a Priesthood blessing from Mike where he said that helping hands would attend us at the birth. Things appeared routine at first, but after my water broke, Ryan's heart rate started going very, very low. At first, it recovered after contractions, but my nurse and doctors were worried because his heart rate was taking longer to return to normal.

Finally, they were so concerned that they told me that I would either have to push him out NOW, or they were going to try once with forceps and then go for emergency C-section. I started pushing for dear life…Ryan's life. The doctors even had me push even when I wasn't having an active contraction. I pushed constantly between 3 and 5 minutes and Ryan was born.

When Ryan came out, he looked dead. I knew he wasn't, but he was so limp and blue that the pediatricians whisked him to the warmer and spent a few minutes stimulating him before we heard him cry. We truly had wonderful doctors and nurses in the delivery room. Many helping hands joined us to make sure that Ryan was born safely. 

I'm also sure that there were unseen heavenly hands helping us. I was praying very hard that I would have the strength to deliver Ryan. It's impossible to describe what goes through your head when you know that you--and only you--stand between your child and a potentially heartbreaking outcome. Having gone through the experience twice, I don't know if I have the emotional strength to do it anymore. 

In retrospect, I wish I'd elected for a C-section. Because I pushed him out so hard and so fast, I've had some painful postpartum complications that I'm still dealing with 4 months later. But this little guy is worth it. So, so worth it.

Ryan is such as sweet, happy guy. He loves to talk and be around people. He laughs all the time. Unless he's hungry, he's content to sit and watch you, but he gets the biggest smile when you go to pick him up. He's a fun and amazing addition to our family.

Here's Ryan in what I call his "Grandpa Rowley" outfit. For those who met my Grandpa Rowley, you'll know exactly why. Whenever Grandpa worked in the garden or on the farm, he would put on some overalls that looked exactly like this. I remember him walking out his side door whistling and doing a little hop/jig as he went to work. My grandpa has been gone almost 20 years now, but it still makes me happy that I can put this little outfit on my son as a nod to him and the lessons on cheerfully working hard that he taught me.

Here he is on picture day, happy to be getting out.

He slept through Easter.

As you can see through the last pictures, Ryan keeps putting on the weight. He loves to eat, and I mean LOVES to eat. His cheeks are so pinchable. I could just cuddle with him all day. We sure love this guy and the sweet spirit that he brings into our family!

Story Time

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

I was getting complacent.  Mike was nearing the end of his Masters program and we have two adorable, sweet children. Loved my job, the hospital, our friends, and our ward. I was starting to get used to the traffic and Maryland culture (an area that combines Northern hospitality with Southern efficiency, according to someone at church). Those are the times that some sort of life-altering change creeps up on you and startles the bejeebers out of you, forcing you to rely more on family and the Lord and less on yourself. It's not a bad thing, but it's a scary thing.

So our change looming on the horizon is that the Army is moving us. You might remember that they threatened to do it last year but then changed their minds at the last minute. Well, they changed their minds again, only instead of sending us to Colorado, they're moving us to North Carolina for two years.  And I don't get to be a developmentalist. I don't even get to be a pediatrician. I get to be a general practitioner for around 3,000 soldiers. It's a move and an assignment that I'm trying to be positive about, but deep down I'm looking forward to it like unanesthetized dental surgery.

Mike and I do something to help Sophia, who is a pretty anxious and timid child. When there's something/someone that intimidates her or that she wants to avoid, we say "hi" to it/him/her until she feels comfortable.  Hi, heater! Hi, blender! Hi, nursery leader! Hi, printer! People must think we're pretty strange.

In that vein, here's the mantra I've been telling myself lately:
Hi, moving with a toddler and an infant!
Hi, moving right after I get back from two weeks of training in Texas!
Hi, Fort Bragg!
Hi, regular hooah Army!
Hi, being a Brigade Surgeon!
Hi, having adult patients for the first time since 2006!
Hi, treating STD's, back pain, and ingrown toenails!

I'm sure it will end up being one of those blessing-in-disguise sort of experiences. I'm sure our family will end up loving North Carolina. I'm sure going to miss complacency, though.

Easter 2014

I love rediscovering holidays through the eyes of my children. This was Sophia's first real Easter where she understood a little bit of the activities.

She loved--and I mean loved her Easter dress.  I'm not sure if this is good or bad, but she understands when she looks cute. After we put on the dress, she ran over to the mirror and twirled back and forth looking at herself. I hope it's just that we're raising a daughter with a healthy self esteem and not a little narcissist. 

Our good friends, the Harmans, came over with their son who's Sophia's age to look for eggs.

She really couldn't have cared less about what was in the eggs, she just enjoyed finding them and putting them in the basket. 

And she loved going around outside with her daddy.

Ryan slept through the whole thing.