One of our little morning routines is that on days where I don't have to get up super early and go to work, Mike will tell me what he dreams and (if I can remember) I tell him mine in return. This morning, I told him that I had that one dream where you go someplace and when you look down you realize you forgot your pants. I thought that dream was pretty universal, but apparently not because Mike looked at me like I was all crazy and stuff.

"What about the dream where you know you have the ability to fly but you just can get off the ground?” Blank stare. “You’re in a play but forgot the words?” Nada. “You’re in school and you realize that you have a test that you didn’t study for?” “Yeah! I had that one in high school….Although, that may have been real life.”

That conversation reminded me that a month ago, I had started a little dream “experiment,” if you will. It all started the Monday morning that happened to be President’s Day (and Mom Stacey’s birthday--Happy Birthday, Mom!). We had the following conversation:

Mike: I had the weirdest dream last night.
Me: Me too!
Mike: I dreamed that there were, like, 6 rusty broken down cars parked in Mom’s driveway and I had to go out and fix them.

Me: That is weird!
Mike: What did you dream last night?
Me: I dreamed that I was at a wedding, and then aliens sent down pink mind-control rays and brainwashed the groom and about 10 of the guests and I spent the rest of the dream trying to find out why they did that.
Mike: *pause* OK, you win.
The next day, Tuesday, as I was getting out of bed, Mike sleepily told me he had just dreamed a bee flew by his ear. I, on the other hand, dreamed that I popped a zit on my leg and out came a banana, peel and all. Mike was slightly grossed out.
It occurred to me, though, that it was now two days of peculiar dreams and at that point, I decided to keep a tally of whose were the most bizarre. So far, I was ahead with a score of 2 to 0. The rest of the week played out thus:

Wednesday:
----Mike: A little person was teaching a class. (He didn’t actually finish the story because he awoke with a sore throat and he didn’t want to make it worse by talking.)
----Me: The goblin king was stealing souls and a small group of freedom fighters had to battle him to save everyone. High points: I had to learn the Goblin language “Waku” to sneak into the castle and Betty White played the part of the grandma.
----Discussion: While at the very least I should win by forfeit because Mike opted not to complete the telling of his dream, the fact that Betty White made a cameo appearance in mine hands down puts me over the edge.
----Point: Me. (3 to 0)

Thursday:
----Discussion: Mike prefaced his telling of the dream by saying, “I wasn’t really asleep when I dreamed this…” At this point, I think whatever either of us dreamed becomes irrelevant, because what Mike had wasn’t so much a dream as a hallucination. In his defense, however, he was up all night with the flu. Hallucinations aren’t a regular occurrence for him. Still, that’s definitely weird. ----Point: Mike. (3 to 1)

I was going to give it a week, but I felt that I had to call off the whole thing after four days because Mike developed full-blown influenza and was absolutely miserable. I didn’t think it was fair to judge his dreams on the scale of sanity when he was so, so sick. I guess that means I won by default, but did I really win? I mean, what kind of mind comes up with that stuff? Mike had to knock on death's door to have weird dreams, whereas I have them all the time. Let's just chalk it up to a vivid imagination. Yeah, that's it.

Know who else had a dream? That's right: Rapunzel. "Tangled" came out on DVD today and I'm off to watch it!!

Home is where warm circling arms go all the way around

I seem to have blogged a lot on Family Home Evening lately. Well, here's yet another. I love Mondays and Family Home Evening. I may not remember many specific FHE's growing up, but I sure remember the feelings around them.

Family Home Evening combines three of my favorite words in the English language. (I also love the words "Christmas," "shoes," and "travel." And "chocolate," but then we start getting into the realm of the cliché.)

----* Family: The source of my greatest joy and happiness. The lack of it was the one thing that kept Hawaii from being a perfect place.

That and I never learned to appreciate the muumuu other than for comedic value.

----* Home: No other word embodies comfort more than "home." Dorothy Gale had to travel on a tornado before she realized there was no place like it. I'm all about vicarious learning, so who am I to argue? Like the Primary song says, it's "where warmth and love abound." That doesn't apply to everyone; I'm lucky enough that, in my case, it does and always has.

----* Evening: My favorite time of day. The burdens of work seem to be erased the moment I walk through the door and give Mike a hug and kiss. Evening time is Our Time and I love every minute of it.

Two weeks ago, Mike and I had a great FHE. It was on family unity and started with an object lesson involving the a 500-year-old Inca fortress in Peru called Sacsayhuamán. (Side note: Say that aloud and tell me what it sounds like. It had us giggling all evening because apparently we're both still in 1st grade.) The point was that even though each stone is different, it doesn’t weaken the wall. In fact, the different sizes actually help keep the structure together and thereby accomplish their common purpose. To demonstrate that, we had a scavenger hunt for our activity. We had a list of 10 categories and we each had to find an object that represented that category. Some of the items were engagement, honeymoon, wedding, marriage, our strength as a couple, and our future together.

I won't bore you with all the details of who picked what and why, but here are a couple of examples:

----* For our engagement, Mike picked a Brian Regan CD because we saw his show in Seattle and, in general, we did fun things together each weekend. Also, on our first sort-of date, he loaned me a couple of Brian Regan CDs so that he would have an excuse to talk to me again. I picked a car because we spent so much time driving back and forth.

----* For our honeymoon, Mike chose the Lord of the Rings trilogy because we went to New Zealand. I picked a drawing of the ocean at sunset because, for me, it was about exploring new horizons at a place neither of us had been before.

It was fun to see each other's perspective on the same thing. I'm excited to go home and have another wonderful Family Home Evening. I feel so blessed to have a husband who is not only excited for FHE, but more than half the time plans for it and carries it out. And I'm grateful that we are establishing this tradition early in our marriage so that we can continue in our efforts to have a united, happy family.

It's amazing to me how many ways the Army finds to make my life more complicated. This last week, for no good reason, they transferred command of the residents and fellows from the hospital command to some other arbitrary non-medical command. Whereas I used to be able to walk down the hall to take care of paperwork, submit my leave forms, etc, I now have to find time in the middle of my day to walk a mile down the road to do the same. If there's any population in the hospital that doesn't have time to do this, it's residents and fellows.

This non-medical command has seen fit to impose certain requirements for leave, like mapping out my route if I'm driving more than 300 miles and giving them a copy of my last pay stub. I have to admit, I'm at a loss for why that one is required. Do they want to make sure I can afford to go on the trip I'm taking? But the ultimate move to make me feel like I'm still in kindergarten is this: I have to phone my command just before I leave bye-bye and then again the minute I come back in town...rain or shine, day or night, weekday or weekend. Next they're going to require a hall pass so that we can go to the bathroom.

I suppose that all of this is done so that I can be very, very sure that when my payback time is up in 6 1/2 years that I'm ready to get out of the military. Well, believe me...

But not everything is bad this week. First of all, Mike got an A in yet another of his classes. Our tradition is that every time he gets an A, we get to go to our favorite restaurant: Lemon Grass. This place has the best Thai food in the history of ever. We love it. Since we only go there every 5 weeks, pending Mike's grades, and since this is about 5 times less often than we'd like to go, we feel that we have to make it count. Last night, we prefaced our order by saying to the waiter, "Please don't judge us harshly," then proceeded to order 2 appetizers and 3 entrees. It was a lot of food. We had the first round of leftovers for lunch today.

In addition, Mike's health has taken a turn for the better and he was finally able to go play church basketball.

So sorry for the overall crappy quality of the pictures. I took them with a phone. Sadly, Mike's team didn't advance further in regionals, but it was still a great opportunity for us to get out and meet people in the ward.

The Clark monthly Family Home Evening was last Sunday. We gathered at Brenda's house and had, seriously, one of the best FHE's on record. The lesson was on family unity, which so happens to be the YW lesson next Sunday. So, awesome, part of my lesson was prepared for me! They started off with "The Parable of the Porcupines." You can find it online, but I rewrote it a little to fit the YW lesson better.

I should also mention that after the lesson part, Brenda and John and family went the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th miles and made everyone dinner. Here was the catch: we had to have our hands tied to the person next to us and learn how to cooperate so we could eat. I lucked out, though. Andrea, our niece, was supposed to be sitting at my right but was helping serve dinner so I was able to scarf down the delicious dinner unhampered. Heh heh.

Anyway, here's a copy of the parable...at least my version of it.

The Parable of the Porcupines
It was the coldest of winters – so cold that the forest animals were perishing in the bitter weather. In order to save themselves from this icy fate, the porcupines gathered together to fend off the chill. As they huddled close, they protected each other from the elements and were warmed by their collective heat.

But their prickly quills proved to be uncomfortable in close proximity. They poked and stabbed each other, wounding their companions. Eventually, the discomfort became too great and they distanced themselves one from the other. In so doing, they ended up alone and frozen in the forest and they began to die.

It soon became clear that they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or succumb to the freezing temperatures. Wisely, they decided to band together. By learning to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their fellows, they were able to survive.

Likewise, families don’t bring together perfect people. Instead, we learn to live with each other’s imperfections while we benefit from the spiritual strength and love the family provides.

I decided to make little porcupines to give to the girls on Sunday. I wanted to make cookies or something but, astonishingly, porcupine-shaped cookie cutters are hard to come by. Huh. Go figure. I did some brainstorming and ended up making "Porcupine Peanut Butter Rice Krispies Treats."

It took a little bit of trial and error, because a lot of the recipes out there ended up being too hard once they cooled and it made sticking in the pretzels quite difficult. I ended up using 3 Tbsp butter, 3/4 c peanut butter, 4 heaping cups mini marshmallows, and 4 cups Rice Krispies. The chocolate topping is 1/2 bag of chocolate chips, 1/2 bag butterscotch chips. Overall, I think they turned out well. Plus, they tasted yummy.

The Doctor/Wife Conundrum

Being a doctor is quite the balancing act. There is, of course, the issue of time allocation: how much time you spend studying, at work, at church, with family, resting, etc... That part has always been fairly easy, because it's a matter of priorities and family has always been first, followed by church, and lastly work.

What is infinitely more difficult is finding an emotional equilibrium between being caring and compassionate towards the patient while maintaining a certain amount of distance and objectivity. If there is too little feeling, you come off as cold and callous. Too much, and you run the risk of burning out; plus, it's harder to remain objective. As a physician, often you have to order a test, administer a treatment, or provide information that is painful in the short term but in a person's best interests in the long term. Objectivity requires looking at the situation and putting personal feelings aside, which is obviously harder to do if you've invested a lot of emotion.

When I was in residency, people told me that it was harder to be objective when it was with members of your own family. Well, they were wrong. It's not "harder," it's frankly impossible. I found that out today when Mike came down with the flu. He's had a cough since Tuesday and Wednesday night a low-grade fever began brewing. Around 1 AM this morning, he woke up with chills, rigors, and a fever of 104. He was absolutely miserable. I knew it was bad when he moaned every time he moved, but he really scared me when he actually asked me if he could take an ibuprofen.

Happily, things quieted down with the ibuprofen. I was pretty sure he had a case of the flu, but during a sleepless night in between 3:30 and 6:30 thoughts like, "What if he's developing pneumonia?" and "Could this be the beginning of meningitis?" began working their way through my incoherent brain. By the time I left for work, I was filled to the brim with anxiety. My "what ifs" were entering the realm of the ridiculous. "What if he gets worse to the point he has to be hospitalized but he won't let anyone poke him with needles?" "What if he faints and hits his head and is knocked unconscious?" "What if someone breaks into the house and Mike's too delirious with fever to do anything and the robber kills him?" "What if the fever never goes away and it turns out that this is a new virus that changes Mike into a zombie?"

Alright, maybe I hung onto sanity enough that the last "what if" didn't enter my head. The doctor part of me was saying that I was being absurd but the wife part of me couldn't help it! By the time I arrived at work, the physician part had taken hold and I had managed to talk myself down somewhat. I was on my way to a morning meeting when I ran into one of my attending physicians, Dr. Davis. She looked at my tired, haggard appearance and remarked that I looked like I'd been up all night. I told her I thought Mike had the flu. Her response, which I am not making up, was "Oh, that's really bad. When my husband had the flu, he got up to go to the bathroom then fainted, hit his head on the sink, and had a seizure. You should go home and be with him."

Oh my gosh!!! That was one of my "what ifs!!!" Any amount of objectivity I had left was thrown out the door. There was no more conundrum. It was 100% wife, 100% worried. I rushed to call Mike. No answer. I waited 4 whole minutes before calling again. No answer. This time, I only waited 2 minutes. No answer. So I rushed back to my car and en route, Mike called back. He was alive!!!

I wasted no time in booking an appointment with an objective provider, who did x-rays, a strep test, and a physical examination. The end result of all that was a confirmation of my original pre-insanity diagnosis: flu. We waited 1 hour in the pharmacy to get Tamiflu. Before we left the office, Dr. Carney made Mike wear "The Mask of Shame" so that no one else would get sick.
Look at those puppy dog eyes. It made me so sad. I'm so grateful for an understanding work that let me discard the doctor hat for awhile and completely be a wife. Objectivity is overrated.

Heart Attack Mac 'n Cheese

Last weekend, we had Bonnie, Mike's sister, and her husband, Noel, over for Sunday dinner. Their two boys, Nicholas and William, had a blast with the balloons that Mike got me for Valentines.

Seriously, are they not two of the cutest boys you've ever seen? I tried a new recipe that night, Creamy Baked Macaroni and Cheese. Oh. Wow. Was it EVER good. It's so good I'm providing the recipe. Be forewarned, however. Each bite has, like, the calorie count and fat content of an entire McDonald's Cheeseburger. You should probably follow the meal with your favorite cholesterol-reducing regimen of choice.

Heart Attack Mac 'n Cheese
4 cups uncooked elbow macaroni
1 cup butter
1 cup flour
3 1/2 cups milk
2 cups (16 oz) sour cream
8 oz Velveeta 8 oz cream cheese
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
2 cups (8 oz) shredded sharp cheddar cheese
3/4 cup bread crumbs

Cook macaroni according to package directions. (Note: We used trenne pasta instead, which is a triangle-shaped penne pasta and it worked really well.) Meanwhile, in a large saucepan, melt butter. Stir in flour until smooth. Gradually add milk and stir until all lumps have dissolved. Bring to a boil. Cook and stir for 2 minutes. Reduce heat. Stir in the sour cream, Velveeta, cream cheese, Parmesan cheese, salt, and pepper until cheeses have melted. Gradually add cheddar cheese and stir until cheese has melted and sauce is smooth. Drain macaroni and add to sauce and mix well. Transfer to a greased 9" x 13" baking dish. Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes or until bubbly. Remove from oven and sprinkle breadcrumbs over top. Return to oven for another 10 minutes until browned.

Mike canNOT keep a secret when he's excited about something. This is especially true when it comes to holidays. I, on the other hand, love the anticipation of waiting until the holiday. Mike's enthusiasm is infectious, however, so this year for Valentine's Day, I decided to do "The 14 Days of Valentines" for Mike.

Day 1: One-hour massage

Day 2: Two movie tickets

Day 3: Three bottles of Martinelli's

Day 4: Super Mario Bros. for Wii (a game for up to four players)

Day 5: Blazers tickets for the 5th of March

Day 6: Six e-cards

Day 7: Seven oz. of sour lips

Day 8: Eight slices of pizza

Day 9: Nine haiku poems I wrote (see examples below)

Day 10: $10 gift cards to iTunes

Day 11: Eleven kisses

Day 12: Mix CD of twelves songs

Day 13: A game of Pizza 31 (This took some creativity, but 31 backwards is 13.)

Day 14: Fourteen reasons why I love Mike + 14 (ish) oz of See's Chocolates!

I'll be honest. I thought that if I gave him daily Valentines, it would be easier for him to wait until the actual day to give me mine. Not so. On Friday, February 11, Mike sent me a text: "Can I give you your Valentine's Day present tomorrow instead of Monday?!?!?" My response: "Well, is it because it works better tomorrow or because it's too hard to maintain the surprise?"

Mike: ...both, maybe?!

Mike: No, BOTH!!!

Me: Hahahahahaha! I'll have to get back to you on that.

Mike: Ok, but please say "yes."

So we had most of Valentine's Day on Saturday, February 12, but it ended up extending through the weekend and culminating on Monday. Mike woke up early on Saturday and made me apple cinnamon oatmeal French toast, which is what he made for me last year on Valentine's day. When I came down for breakfast, there were 12 balloons (see picture) in the kitchen along with a new dress, a huge card, and a bouquet of flowers. On Sunday, we came home and he pampered me by pouring a bubble bath with some scents he got at Bath and Body works and giving me chocolates he'd hand picked from See's. It was so sweet and so romantic. Our fantastic weekend culminated with dinner at Palomino's Restaurant in Seattle and an evening at a comedy club. Mike also bought me a new coat (pictured above) and some earrings and a bracelet.

As a side note, the day also turned out to be great for people watching. There was a guy who freaked out and ran away from us when we opened up an umbrella in front of him. The person sitting in front of us at the comedy show clapped and laughed like Steve Martin in "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" when he's pretending to be Ruprect the Monkey Boy. (Oklahoma! Oklahoma! Oklahoma!). The woman working at the Nordstrom's makeup counter had a blue and white bouffant hair"style." We saw a couple in their 50's get into their car and greet their dog by barking at it. Loudly. And howling. Loudly. For 2-3 minutes.

That's Seattle, the "Never Seen THAT Before" City.

And now for the haikus:

#1 Husband!

Go put that on your Facebook

And click to "like" it.

A Trailblazers fan.

Canby? Roy? Knee surgery!

Better luck next year.

Black Cherry Weinhard's.

Yay! Four chilling in the fridge!

I have so much more!!!

Our temple marriage:

Greater happiness than I

Could have imagined.